Preschool

At the beginning of this year, we decided to put Damien in preschool. He was doing great at handling himself in situations, he was talking, and he was smart. He learned the letters of the alphabet in a week, by himself. He could count, and he knew his colors. Often times, he would get bored, and that's what made us look into preschools. 

He got into the preschool program at the local university, where there are six "teachers." I put teachers in parenthesis, because after my experience with them, I don't consider them "teachers." Anyways, the class Damien was assigned to, had 21 students, ranging from 3-5 years old. (Ridiculous)

Can you already tell how this experience goes?? 

Yeah, it sucked. Everytime I would go to watch my son during preschool hours, I became upset.

Here is one experience that I encountered...

The first couple weeks, when I would go pick up Damien, I would ask how he was doing. They always answered, "well, he has a hard time with transitioning." I decided that after the third time I was told this, that I should probably go check out what's going on.... cause at home, we don't have a problem transitioning...in fact, we've NEVER had  problem transitioning anywhere.

 When preschool days came around the third week, I asked him if he was excited to go to school. He replied, "No." I was a little surprised. Damien loved going to school the first couple weeks. So I asked again, "Damien, you're going to preschool today, aren't you excited to go play?" Immediately, he yelled, "NO!" I decided that day, I would stay and watch to see what was going on. 

When I dropped him off,  he was upset at me. He clung to me and wasn't his happy self. It took 10 minutes to pry him off of my leg and convince him to go play. (At this preschool, the first 1 1/2 hours is self play. They have stations set up all around the room, and the kids can choose what they want to play, or they can go outside. They also have an area where parents and professors can go and sit in and watch how the kids and teachers are doing. We can hear everything, but they can't see us.)

I watched as Damien played by himself. I've never seen him be a loner... but there he was, in a classroom full of kids and teachers, playing by himself. If one kid came over to where he was, he shared the toys, but never played with them. If three or more kids came over, Damien would just get up and leave and find another activity. He never smiled or laughed.

It broke my heart. 

My could tell that my son didn't like it there.

Finally, it came time for them to pick up the toys. The teachers all sang a quick clean up song, and the kids all helped clean up the room, and then transitioned to circle time, where a teacher would share a small lesson. 

I watched as Damien started picking up a couple toys, and noticed how it started getting very loud. Once that started happening, I watched as Damien seemed to change. He started getting frustrated and walking around the room... that day, I watched in shock as Damien started running around the outside wall, looking for a place to hide. He ran around for a couple minutes, running over furniture, pushing kids out of the way, trying to escape the teachers hands that were trying to catch him.

One teacher finally caught him and he started yelling, "OW! IT HURTS! LET GO!!! Over and over and over again... and I was done.

I asked the professor to tell the teachers that I wanted Damien and we were going home.

For the first time in over a year, my son went into sensory overload. Now I knew why he had a hard time transitioning... he was like a pot of water getting ready to boil over, and today it happened.  But one thing that bothered me more than that was I told the teachers and professors that Damien had Sensory Processing Disorder. I told them that this would happen if they didn't help regulate him. Their responses were always, "It's ok, we know what to do. He'll be fine."

They were wrong....

The professor called me that night to find out what was going on. I told him what had happened, even though he witnessed it himself. He apologized and said to bring in some things that would help Damien in those situations. He was referencing the lap pad and brushes that are used to calm kids down. I dug them out of the closet and found a babysitter for the next time he went to preschool. I was going to be there the whole time.

The next day of preschool, I went in there with the brush and lap pad when he was getting overloaded. He was so happy to have those, and within 2 minutes of sitting down with his lap pad and brushing his arms, he was calmed down and finished out the rest of the day. The next day, a teacher tried it and I watched as she successfully copied what I did. 

But the next week, it was back to experimenting. They didn't have the lap pad or brushes out like they used to. And when he started getting overloaded, and ran to a dark corner, they tried bribing him out, but it didn't work. 

I sat there watching helplessly as they went back to there old ways. I honestly don't think they knew I was there.We talked to our occupational therapist, who went and observed one day, and when asked if Damien's behavior had changed the whole month he was in preschool, he responded," Yes. He's gotten worse."  The next day, we pulled Damien out of preschool.

It took about a week for Damien to get back under control and to get his behavior back to being on track. It's still a work in progress, but we're coming along...

If I could give any advice out of what I learned with this experience, it would be to ask the teachers if they are comfortable dealing with a child that has SPD. Ask them if they've had experience with kids with SPD, or if this would be the first time. Talk openly with them, and don't let them tell you they know what they are doing,  when it's clear they don't. (There were a few times I could have slapped the professor's face.)

You know your child better than anyone.

You know what makes them go off and what calms them down.

You are the parent. 

The Beginning...

It's been a year since we've realized our 3 year old, Damien, had sensory processing disorder, SPD. He had just turned 2 a couple months before, couldn't talk at all, and wasn't the happy kid that we knew. Often times, little things would set him off and he would go into meltdown mode, or we noticed he would go missing, only to be found, hiding in the closet. 

He couldn't handle going to church, or places with crowds. The noise and people were too much for him. Many times, my husband and I would get so frustrated that we would put him in time-out, only to realize that made it worse. He was being punished for something he had no control over.

One thing we really worked hard on, was to try and find an outlet for him. We knew he loved to play on my tablet. If he needed a little downtime, we would put him somewhere and let him play games for 15 minutes.  He loved to cuddle, and we noticed that was one way to get him to calm down. After a few months, we taught him to go to his room if he was overwhelmed. It wasn't long before he was able to recognize and do things on his own. He still needed help with church or play groups. But we always made sure we had what he needed. 

The one thing I've realized through all of this, is to have patience. Things will get better. You and your child will find things that work. Talk to your occupational therapist, and be honest. If they ask how are you doing, answer them honestly. I don't know how many times I've been asked that, and have said, "today sucks." They understand and are there to help you along the way. 

Are there still hard days? Oh yeah.

Are there days I want to lock myself in the bathroom? Yep.

Are there days where I look at my life, and just laugh? Yes.

I mean, come on... I have THREE kids with SPD! 

These kids are my life, and I've realized that my attitude has a huge impact on how I look at and handle situations. Be strong, it WILL get better. 

 

Have you?

Have you ever wondered if something was wrong with your child? Have you ever wondered if that something was just imagined, or if it was real? Have you ever been in an argument with your husband or wife and placed blame on the other, whether it was telling them they were too hard on the child, only to have them say you were spoiling them and they were just acting out? 

I have. 

This blog is to help those that have been in my shoes. It's to give insight on what it's like to live with three young kids who have Sensory Processing Disorder, and other learning disorders. It's to reach out and hug that mom who is confused and worried, who wonders if she is doing something wrong to have her child act out or have meltdowns.

I will give real-life stories of the past year, of how I managed to make the most of my children's young years, no matter how difficult it will be. I'll give advice, and if you have any questions, email me! But most importantly, I want people to know there is help. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. 

Don't let people tell you that you're making things up. That SPD isn't a real thing... it is.